Father's Day 2019

Papa was a rolling stone
Wherever he laid his hat was his home
And when he died, all he left us was alone
Papa was a rolling stone (my son, yeah)
Wherever he laid his hat was his home
And when he died, all he left us was alone


The Temptations





Last year I published my first Father's Day Post- frankly a grim  lamentation on the "State of Fatherhood"  in the world today.  Unfortunately I could not help but continue that "Theme" with this year's post.  A post inspired by Blog Follower Lester Wurfel.  So, before launching into my "Father's Day Observation" a quick digression about Lester.

Lester, and his wife Joan, just spent several wonderful days with my "Faithful and Obedient Companion" and I here in Colorado.  During his visit we not only explored several beautiful places in Colorado, but also spent hours talking about our families, grandkids and old times.  He painfully reminded me we have been friends now for almost 50 years, ever since we first met at Lafayette in the Fall of 1969.  We were in each other's weddings, our kids spent some time together etc.  When he first graduated from Lafayette he moved across the street from where I grew up, befriending my parents and neighbors in the process.  Yes he knew my old Frankford neighborhood well.

This morning he shared a sad(?) piece about my old High School and it's football team that appeared in the mornings "Philadelphia Inquirer".  Given that I played on that team, and that we have 5 (In graduating order, Maria Fehnel, Susan Hodnot (My sister), Myself, my "Faithful and Obedient Companion' and Ethel Corley (My sister) Alumni who follow this blog I felt compelled to share it with all of you. 

Rather than "cut and paste" (I tried) I suggest you read it by clicking the link shown, then come back to my own "Observations".  You all of course will form your own opinion's on the piece.  Mine will relate to Father's Day.

First the piece
Frankford football coach Bill Sytsma opens his locker room on Friday nights so his players are safe from Philadelphia gun violence


The story is moving and for some obvious reasons very disturbing yet it portrays a coach faced with some very different problems than we had back in the late 1960's.  My Faithful and Obedient Companion did remind me that one guy I played with was stabbed a year or so after I graduated.  Even back then Frankford was an interesting mix of  "tough"working class kids ( both white and black).  Our Quarterback, Micheal Ray, was the first Black Quarterback in Frankford's history and in my senior year about 30% of my team was black.  However, I well remember that virtually all of us came from intact families which included interested and engaged father's. 

As I read the article I was struck by several comments which I will simply let speak for themselves. However I bolded some comments that stood out to me.

“It makes the weight of the job feel real,” Sytsma said of the deaths. “We’re talking about a kid, a teenager who has his whole life in front of him, and in a second it’s just snuffed out.

“You feel the weight of this job when you realize what these kids are going into when they leave your presence.”

Soon after he was hired in March, Sytsma — who works in the school as a student climate specialist — his staff, players, and others cleaned and rehabbed the locker room, he said, “to make it a home.”

My job as a coach is not just to build them as football players but to build them as men and making sure they’re out of trouble,” he said. “Making sure that they have a full life is part of my job.”

Jahaam Mungen has toughness. Perhaps it comes from his mother.

His mother, Tarra Mungen, put him in karate until he was old enough to play football.

Mungen said he might also join the military or become a firefighter like his mother

I have highlighted enough, I have no reason to belittle motherhood whatsoever but sadly to me this entire article never mentions a father.  Where are they?  Well I covered that in last year's Father's Day Blog.  Fatherless families are endemic and in our "culture wars", particularly black families.  As a society we have failed to emphasis the biological and social need that "Father's" provide even in articles like this.  Statistically over and over again the social cost of fatherless homes never gets mentioned. Only "noble" mothers. Yet fatherless homes are killing our young men, directly or indirectly.  Coaches and Karate School may help but nothing can replace a loving and mentoring Father.  

I will always think of that each and every  Father's Day.!

With that I bid you adieu.