The power of Sex,Fame and Money in a "Woke World"

Woke up this morning, my head was so bad

The worst hangover that I ever had
What happened to me last night
That girl of mine, she loved me so right (yeah) (oh, oh)
She loved me so long and she loved me so hard
I finally passed out in her front yard (whoo)
It wasn't wine that I had too much of
It was a double shot of my baby's love

Double shot of my baby's love, yeah yeah, yeah
Double shot of my baby's love, yeah yeah, yeah
A potion that I had too much of
It was a double shot of my baby's love

It was such a thrill it was hurtin' me (ooh)
I was sufferin' in ecstasy
She had me turnin' flips and-a shoutin' out loud (yah-hah)
A sip of her love and I was walkin' one a cloud
One night a week is-a plenty enough
It's a good thing for me they don't bottle that stuff (pop)
Well, my heart begins to fly like a dove
When I take a double shot of my baby's love

Double shot of my baby's love, yeah yeah, yeah
Double shot of my baby's love, yeah yeah, yeah
A potion that I had too much of
It was a double shot of my baby's love

Double shot of my baby's love, yeah yeah, yeah
Double shot of my baby's love, yeah yeah, yeah
Double shot of my baby's love, yeah yeah, yeah
Double shot of my baby's love, yeah yeah, yeah

OK so the WOKE opening word in an old favorite college song from my Phi Delta Theta days probably had no connection to today's definition of "Woke" but it did click for me.  It was a song that depicted two of our favorite college  past times...drinking and women.  It was a song from an earlier "era" when drinking and sexual conquest were a guy's idea of a good time.   However, it also acknowledges the power potential of female sexuality over a man.  Amazing that we saw it as a fitting song to be celebrated at many of our weddings.  A warning, today's post prompted by some recent news may touch on some sensitive topics in ways I am conflicted about as you may be as well.

Yesterday I saw the piece about Chris Matthews "retirement" from MSNBC.  His "retirement" was prompted by "inappropriate' comments he made:  From the LA Times:

 Matthews, 74, was recently cited in a GQ.com story in which the author, Laura Bassett, said the anchor made inappropriate flirtatious remarks to her before she went on the air. Bassett first wrote about the incident that allegedly occurred in 2016, but did not mention Matthews by name.
Bassett revisited the matter after Matthews’ aggressive questioning of Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts following NBC’s primary debate on Feb. 19.   


Now here are the comments he acknowledged making:

“Who are you?” he asked me, as the makeup artists powdered our faces.

I reminded him of my name. “We’ve met before,” I said.

He turned and looked at me. “And I haven’t fallen in love with you yet?”

When I laughed nervously and said nothing, he followed up to the makeup artist. “Keep putting makeup on her, I’ll fall in love with her.”

Another time, he stood between me and the mirror and complimented the red dress I was wearing for the segment. “You going out tonight?” he asked.

I said I didn’t know, and he said—again to the makeup artist—“Make sure you wipe this off her face after the show. We don’t make her up so some guy at a bar can look at her like this.”

"Again—Matthews was never my boss."

Matthews has a way with words that I too have  found distasteful"...like the "Thrill up his leg" he had for a former president.  In addition this outcome was likely because NBC has a history of such issues (worse actually) according to Ronan Farrow.  Now to me these lines sound like a cross between "male flattery" by an old geezer,  or some very corny "pickup lines".   Apparently there are several similar stories women have claimed about Matthews. This is not the first.

But I assume Kathleen Matthews, his wife, who ran as a Democrat for Congress in Maryland, and up until last year was the Democratic Chair of the Maryland Party is woke enough to know if he is a philandering scum.  (Then again Hillary is also woke but Bill's Philandery was OK.)  Therefore I am confused as to why these specific comments to a grown, intelligent and presumably powerful woke women would be "concealed" for several years.  If it offended her at the time a quick "why don't F off you pervert" as the makeup man looked on that probably would have shut the old geezer down.  Women have that power...trust me (see my story below).     

Observation 1;  Our new way of thinking about sexual dynamics is now just another tool in "gottcha" politics on both the right and left.  Matthews certainly sounds "creepy" in his comments, I will assume he is not a serial philanderer and  simply used these lines as a lame, unprofessional attempt at flattery. Maybe MSNBC just figured he was getting too senile for his role at the network.  This incident gave them an excuse to get rid of him.  I know personally my "Faithful and Obedient Companion would make my retirement miserable if I was using those lines on women! 


My second Observation stems from a couple of articles in the WSJ on good ol Harvey Weinstein a well known scummy guy but adored for a long time by actresses and politicians.  If Harvey got you in , you were in.  While some readers may find my thinking here misguided I cannot help myself in including this in my post.

From the WSJ:


In convicting Mr. Weinstein of third-degree rape, the jury found that Mr. Weinstein had sex with aspiring actress Jessica Mann against her will in 2013 but determined that he didn’t use the physical force or threats of immediate harm required of first-degree rape. The first-degree criminal sex act conviction stemmed from accusations that he forced oral sex on production assistant Miriam Haley in 2006.

Now from a separate WSJ article on trial testimony:

Mann responded (to why she did not report this before)

 “I wanted him to believe I wasn’t a threat.”

and later....

Ms. Rotunno suggested Ms. Mann was trying to explain away her relationship with Mr. Weinstein, and its implications for her accusations of sexual assault. “You knew that your words were going to be a problem for you on the stand?” asked Ms. Rotunno.

Ms. Mann responded: “I don’t consider the truth a problem.”

Ms. Mann said she enjoyed Mr. Weinstein’s attention. “Because he was successful,” Ms. Rotunno added. “Because he made movies.”

“Yes,” said Ms. Mann, agreeing that she engaged with Mr. Weinstein because “it was always in my best interest.”

In the afternoon after the alleged rape in 2013, Ms. Mann said she met Mr. Weinstein and his daughter for tea and then attended the New York City movie premiere of “August: Osage County” as his guest.

 Ms. Mann testified on Monday for the first time that she also met Mr. Weinstein the next day.

Ms. Mann told jurors she had performed and received oral sex from Mr. Weinstein on several occasions before the alleged rape, calling it “a two-way street, sometimes.” Ms. Rotunno noted that over the years Ms. Mann had contacted Mr. Weinstein to give him her new number on at least five occasions. “Every time you sent Harvey Weinstein your new phone number, nobody forced you,” she said.

Ms. Rotunno asked Ms. Mann to read for the jury a 2014 letter that Ms. Mann wrote to her then-boyfriend. “Harvey validated me in ways my parents never did,” she read through sobs. “I played into sexual dynamics simply to feel I would never be taken advantage of again.”

Now I personally think old Harvey is a dirtbag  and likely a "predator" on young women who sought career "assistance". He must have been a real Mr Hyde  to these obscure wannabe's but charmed the rich, famous politicians like Dr Jekyll.

Observation 2: While I know Ms Mann's were not the "only" charges made against Weinstein, I cannot help but think Ms Mann was an active and willing participant in using her body and sex to get ahead in Hollywood.  She seems to me as morally corrupt as Harvey. But I admit I am no expert on the Stockholm Syndrome and other psychological submission scenarios.  I also understand that I do not have the entire context of the trial.  

Rest assured Harvey's next trial will likely be filled with similar stories.  So now let me relay a personal "woke" moment from my own life.

At the tender age of 14, one fall evening after freshman football practice, I was riding a "SEPTA" bus home from Central High School in Philadelphia ( by the way Central was right up the street from Chris Matthews Philly High School "LaSalle").  A few stops later several young ladies got on the bus from a local Catholic Girls school and sat across from me, chatting and laughing like school kids do.  As we were cruising down the street one of these young ladies "offered" me a nice view of her panties with a full "women splaining" spread of her hiked up Catholic Uniform skirt. To this day I swear she even gave me a sly smile but I must  admit maybe not.  After accepting her "invitation" on the crowded bus she looked over at me and said (very loudly) "hey buddy you getting a good view?"   I of course turned bright red as I listened to the chuckles of her school mates and the smirkes from some other passengers.  I learned an early life's lesson on female "empowerment" both sexual and otherwise that evening.  She was either having deliberate fun, at my expense or totally innocent, either way she was VERY fearless in her reaction to my gaze.

Observation 3:  Sex as a power tool is not a one way street in the course of human interaction.  It can be used by either sex.  At the very least  even young women with common sense can say F off to an unwanted advance if they want.  That doesn't mean women have not been raped or even overwhelmed by "male" power.  However, in reading these two stories I could only think either how "weak" these women were, or just corrupt both professionally and morally.  

Finally I will move on to another recent news piece with no particular connection to the politics of Human Sexuality- but I will stretch things a bit to make the connection and a final point.

From an article from Fox News on the College Admissions bribery case:

Lori Loughlin and her fashion designer husband Mossimo Giannulli are reportedly “discouraged” and “concerned” after another parent swept up in the college admissions scandal got a six-month sentence behind bars.

I'm sure she'll make it through," the reality star explained. "I feel women are strong. We have babies, we do it all. I'm sure whatever outcome it is, I'm sure she'll be fine with it.

"Her daughters are older… You know, she did it for her daughters and, I mean, her daughters are grateful for what she did. She was just looking out for her daughters and trying to get them into a good school. But I guess that's it, just be open with them, and whatever the outcome is, it is. You have to deal with it and move forward."

Somehow in all this I was struck by the  "Flip Side" of  the Harvey Weinstein power play.....here was a  a "strong, famous women" using her money to get her kids a "leg up" on everyone else.

Observation 3.  This  lawyer should have suggested his client "play down" the "strong women" bit.  You know act submissive and helpless.  If really creative she could have claimed the college "Coach was a svengali who  "threatened to Rape me". "He told me "You want your kids in a good school, put out some  or pay up!!"  So I chose to "Pay Him" with money instead of my body.  Now what modern day juror would not sob at that story of predators and female victims.?

So to sum it up.

I cannot disagree that people like Lori should get some jail time, and that Weinstein was a scumbag and he's getting his comeuppance.  .  Maybe all of these " rich famous celebrities etc " should get the guillotine when they use their power, money or influence to get what they want. 

Now when I think of  Matthews case I am not sure he even "wanted" anything except to flatter some lady in a weird way.  I guess his power play was to see what goofy line he could pitch to an attractive lady while she was "forced" to sit in a makeup chair and listen.

But in all this I have to ask as well:  When somebody asks us to do something immoral or illegal- or even just listen to an "inappropriate comment" in silence   would you "cower"?   Why do we think we can justify it at the moment as  the only way to get a "better career" for yourself or a "better opportunity" for your children, or  even just to get on the Chris Matthews show.  I cannot buy the idea of this serial "power me"  BS, or that I was afraid to speak up at the time.

Yes some women feel weak and powerless when confronted by sexual predators, but some exert power and control  with their sexuality (we men had a term about using a different part of our anatomy doing our thinking).  In my humble opinion only if your own moral compass is bankrupt would you willingly submit to such an arrangement to advance your career, or help your kids or submit to Matthews comments.
   
Harvey was no doubt a predator.  But from what I read I am not fully buying it that Miss Mann was a helpless, preyed upon innocent young lady.  As to Lori and her friends of course   my proposed  "helping my kids" defense was simply  a sarcastic way to make a point on reprehensible excuses for making poor "moral choices" for one's own behavior  .

 As to Chris Matthews case, well while I was never a big fan, I am genuinely confused by it all.

Now for my final Observation:

I am willing to bet that young, "innocent"  teenage Catholic Girl who called me out had a stronger sense of empowerment (and backbone) than any of these three striving "professional" women whose tails of woe I recently read.


With That I bid you adieu