My Personality Disorders

Time is on my side, yes it is
Time is on my side, yes it is
Now you all were saying that you want to be free
But you'll come runnin' back (I said you would baby)
You'll come runnin' back (like I told you so many times before)
You'll come runnin' back to me, yeah

Rolling Stones





I have two blog posts in the works and a third in my head but I cannot bring myself to finishing them because they touch on Politics, Values and our counties divide.  I have decided to let them sit a bit, primarily because I figure all of you get enough of that every day right now.  So they will remain on the back burner a bit longer. So today I thought I might introduce a topic a little more personal, and to some perhaps even humorous, one that discusses my own "personality "disorders" on matters financial.

I hope you can follow along.....somehow.

Observation/disorder 1.  Looking a gift horse in the mouth or not knowing a good thing when you have it.

At this time of year we all face  "tax day" a time of year that in the past was a non-event to me,  But suddenly it has gotten more frustrating to me in the last two years, frustrations caused by my own doing. 

Up until  2 years ago during our entire married life "taxes" (and financial transactions in general) were handled by my "Faithful and Obedient Companion".  Barbara balanced our checkbook, paid all the bills and essentially handled everything financially.  That included our personal income tax filings. etc.

Now don't get me wrong......I was involved in "big" financial decision making (our investments, loans, house purchases etc) but for most of our married life I could not tell you my current bank balance unless I had just gotten a receipt from an ATM.  Sometime in the early 2000's  I started using "Quicken"  but that was generally an  "after the fact" involvement based on downloads which served my other obsession....statistics and data.  I began to see  my financial job as one to provide "oversight" and interesting "fun" numbers and maybe some helpful "intellectual" guidance to my "Faithful and Obedient" companion.  Kind of a "benevolent" dictator role you might say.  My Faithful and Obedient companion would smile at the various  "reports" I generated which she promptly tossed into the "out basket" located under our kitchen sink in Yardley (and later  in Vermont).

Well all Dictator's even benevolent ones eventually meet a reckoning even if it is on their "deathbed".  Mine came when Barbara decided my "oversight" went from occasional  printed reports quarterly to day to day questions, comments and criticisms of various financial transactions.  You see I now had the time to obsess on  initial "data quality", an obsession I learned from years of poor data quality at AIG.  (Right Steve Clark!).  More on that haunting me later.

Now in case you think I was criticizing  someone's spending habits, that was never an issue in our marriage.  We had always had an "equal opportunity to spend " kind of deal.  I was blessed with a generally frugal spouse (well in our first 35 years of marriage anyway) and most of our really impulsive "stupid" purchases were by yours truly.  No,  my criticisms (which became more prevalent when I stopped doing my consulting business) dealt with minutiae that I gradually became  more obsessed with  as I had "time on my hands" in retirement.  I started asking  detailed questions on things like Amazon Purchases so they could be assigned to proper categories not just "shopping". I criticised her opening new credit card accounts (my Faithful and Obedient Companion does that to get a quick discount) because I felt left to clean them up in my beloved "Quicken".  Bottom line my chief accountant finally said "I quit" in Salt Lake. Stunned I said OK, I will take charge no problem dear  you just watch I can automate everything!

So it began.. mentally and emotionally I felt happy as things seemed to go smoothly.  With all this automation I felt I could handle my first Tax Season (2017) very easily.   (First, some quick additional background..We have had a nice accountant , "Ed" from Berwyn Pa doing our taxes since the late 1990's.  Barbara always physically gathered up our tax documents and promptly mailed  them to "Ed".  He then asked her questions, she answered, and when they were done I signed the return-always underneath Barbara's name and SS number. I always  kinda liked that - thinking any IRS problems would only mean Barbara and Ed would go to Jail!),

 One of the first things I decided to initiate in 2017 was to "scan in all" our tax forms, store them in the "cloud" in well organized folders Like "1099's", W-2's, Mortgage and Real Estate Taxes, Charity receipts, ad nauseum.   No paper files for this guy!  These I could share directly with Ed in these folders.  Unfortunately the first time Ed tried to access them it did not work.  No problem I simply emailed them -which promptly clogged up due to data size.  I then had to spend a few hours unclogging by sending multiple emails to Ed .  His first response was "what "file format" are they Jim?  I said "PDF".   He responded: "no they are not" and I said "oops...they are JPEG.  Ed's response-"Jim can't you just mail them?"

My Faithful and Obedient companion just smiled...all to smugly as I headed to the post office.

OK, "we" (Ed and I) eventually got through 2017 successfully, and we even got a small refund..  I will come back to 2017 shortly when I describe Observation/Disorder number 2.


This year the 2018 filing season rolls around  and everything seemed to be going smoothly........Ed and I had  a couple of discussions during 2018  and we were all lined up ready to go.  Heck he even got PDF's from me via email!!!   Quicken allowed me to quickly calculate rent expenses in Vermont etc. See that Barbara!

Unfortunately  last week BOOM! the IRS sent a notice that they "recalculated" our 2017 taxes and we owed them $3,800 plus interest.  They claim I received an "extra" 13,899" in Pension Income from AIG that I failed to report but AIG did.......huh????   If you wonder why I will refer you back to my introduction on AIG data quality!

  So now we move on to:

Observation Number 2: Dealing with Incompetence, over which I have no control, requires more patience , understanding and forethought than I possess.  Follow if you dare:

When 2017's  AIG W-2 first rolled in I noticed that it showed my state taxes were incorrectly "split" between Utah and Vermont.  We had lived the entire year 2016 in Utah and moved to Colorado in 2017. and I had changed my address in 2016 correctly and had also changed my Address in 2017 timely to show Colorado half a year .  Why the w-2 showed some Vermont income was beyond me and I called to have it corrected.  A correct W-2 was issued  and I then proceeded to file 2017. 

Moving on to 2018 year, in the mail from AIG I get a W-2 for 2018 that showed "Colorado and Utah...again for 2018.  I lived in Colorado all of 2018, AIG knew that Huh?   My problem was in 2018 so I called AIG and they said no problem we will fix.  A week later they sent another  corrected 2017 W-2.  Huh????  There was no need to correct 2017!  I called again and they said OOPS.  No problem we will fix.    One week later bingo a "valid 2018 tax year correction arrived and I forwarded to Ed all my tax data for 2018.  Stupidly I tossed that 2017 second correction in the trash, as AIg's rep suggested.

Two weeks later...BOOM the IRS now says my 2017 tax year was redone and AIG reported an additional half year of Pension income (exactly the half Colorado/Utah  income, what a coincidence!) reported on the "recorrected" 2017 I had received in error from AIG.  You all got that????  They think somehow my 2017  pension from AIG was suddenly 13,889  more than AIG has paid me ever since I retired. 

The fun now begins.  I have called AIG three times, explained the issue, and ask them to either correct whatever they filed or send me an explanation to send to the IRS.   I also faxed them the IRS inquiry/demand which, needless to say, they do not comprehend.  Frankly neither can I! (I even had fellow blogger Phil Gocke review my fax for clarity on his visit last week!  Not blaming you Phil!)) Each time the answer has been a phone call that  "we sent W-2's properly".  However, nothing has been given to me in written form that I can forward to the IRS.  They simply want a payment or the proper documentation by...April 17th. 

Yesterday's call was a classic.. I went over the fax with some unlucky AIG person who still  cannot grasp my problem but promised a "fuller review" by Friday....we will see.  Meanwhile my Faithful and Obedient Companion listened in, keeping her calm, happy demeanor,  and gently suggesting that I stop threatening the poor people at AIG with death.  She reminded me that this will get me nowhere since these people I am yelling at about poor AIG Data Quality are no longer "my" employees.

So now all I can keep thinking is WTF how did I get here in the first place!   What goes around comes around in more ways than one Huh??  Unfortunately my Faithful and Obedient Companion has no penchant to my "running back" to her at this point.


So, until next time, perhaps from Jail for tax evasion, (because Ed and Barbara have no intentions of serving time on this one!) I bid you all:

Adieu.

PS I invite comments on any similar or "funny" IRS stories you may wish to share!

PSS Since we leave for Argentina April 23rd I will be gone just in time for any likely IRS response to my correspondence I send them by the deadline.  The form allows me to designate someone to act on my behalf.  Do I have any volunteers out there??



 







   





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