Golf-The Great Equalizer?

“The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.” – Mickey Mantle

“To find a man’s true character, play golf with him.” – P.G. Wodehouse

“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.” – Dean Martin

“Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.” – Tiger Woods

“Golf is a puzzle without an answer. I’ve played the game for 50 years and I still haven’t the slightest idea of how to play.” – Gary Player

“Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.” – Jack Benny

Since returning to Vermont I have had the opportunity to play lot's of golf.  I have found my lack of play has had little impact on my ability.  In general I still stink but boy do I still enjoy a "good walk ruined" 2 or 3 times per week.  I have even played a few rounds with my "Faithful and Obedient Companion" (see Jack Benny's comment above)  One big surprise came while playing with my spouse. In the one "Million Dollar Match" we played while here (an old tradition)  I actually won!  You see  it is unusual for me to beat my spouse.  Since we started this "tradition" my "Faithful and not always Obedient Companion"  has bested me enough to still be ahead some 5 million dollars that we have "on account" since we initiated the competition several years ago. Funny I had to play on the senior tees to beat her.  She did not complain about that-yet.

Many of my readers are familiar with golfs great equalizing system known as  the "Handicap Index", a complex system that takes into account ones past scoring history, course difficulty ratings and Tee location (Men's "white or black or senior tees" and Women's Tees).  It is a remarkably accurate method of adjusting the score to account for all these factors.  My Handicap index is 29, my Faithful and Obedient Companions is 2 or 3 strokes better at 26.  Funny thing is I still have to give her several strokes (4 -6) depending on the tee location I play from (she has no option I guess women do not age)).   Go figure.  What I find most fascinating is how course ratings truly reflect a courses difficulty as I always seem to play worse on higher rated courses.

Regardless of this apparent "inequity"  (Barbara does not hit as far but boy she is she deadly with her short game around the greens) our matches are generally competitive and our matches usually last at least 16 holes.  I suspect my unusual win was a fluke and so I keep hoping that the "MeToo" movement will have a reverse effect and eventually she will have to give me a stroke or two someday soon.

Ok so what is my point other than to discuss the golf system of "Handicaps".  Well it got me to thinking.  What if life was one big game of golf and all of us "competed" in the real world like amateurs compete in golf?

Well we could open up academic achievement to be handicapped so that brilliant students would be on a level playing field with all other students.

College Admissions could likewise be handicapped so that all applicants could get a shot at Harvard (or Lafayette).

Job applications could be handicapped as well as ongoing career promotional opportunities.

It certainly might help to end all the inequality arguments, accusations and litigation.

Of course before I got on to a Plane,  had heart surgery or even had my toilet fixed I would likely ask...."So what is your handicap?" , prior to deciding who would perform the work. 

After all twisting my wrist and hitting a golf ball out of bounds has a  much more benign outcome than say missing a runway, slicing an Aorta or even laying up short on my sewage line.

With that I bid you
Adieu